I want to preface this post by stating that this is my personal opinion and not part of my thesis. I wanted to acknowledge Birth Mother’s Day, since it is widely recognized by the adoption community.
Since 1990, the day before Mother’s Day has been designated as Birth Mother’s (or First Mother’s) Day. Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh first conceived the idea as a result of her own adoption experience. Founded by a group of birth mothers in Seattle, the day purposely falls on the day before Mother’s Day to symbolize that a birth mother’s decision makes the adoptive mother’s motherhood possible. It’s a day in which the adoption community recognizes birth mothers who made the ultimate sacrifice and placed their children with adoptive parents.
May Birth Mother’s Day bring acknowledgement and recognition to every birth mother who ever loved a child lost to adoption. May it honor and celebrate every mother who became childless after birthing a child, and was forgotten on Mother’s Day— Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh
There are approximately six million adoptees in the United States, each having a birth mother and an adoptive mother. There are millions of other adoptees around the world, who also have two mothers. The decision to place a child for adoption is often a difficult and emotional one. Does anyone really CELEBRATE Birth Mother’s day? I don’t think celebrate is the right word-commemorate is really more accurate. Maybe to reflect on birth mother’s day would be more appropriate. What kind of card do you buy to send? Do all birth mothers want to be acknowledged, or is it just another painful reminder?
From personal experience, I don’t need a special day of the year to think about and appreciate my daughter’s birth mother. I think of her every single day and I know she thinks of us. I am eternally grateful for the gift of my daughter and will continue to be so until the day I die. I know it was painful for her and will be painful for the rest of her life. There are many very difficult days she muddles through. Knowing her, she doesn’t want this reminder the day before Mother’s Day. She appreciates an occasional email or photos, knowing we are all doing well and how much we love the baby she placed with us almost seven years ago. You should not need a special day to recognize your child(ren)’s birth mother, you should honor them every day by being the best parent you can be.
If you do choose Birth Mother’s Day to recognize your child’s birth mother, there are many local events you could participate in or you can send a card, flowers or a gift. I choose to honor my daughter’s birth mother every day by raising her to be the best person she can be. She is showered with love and has the life her birth mom envisioned for her.
Photo courtesy of www.bubblews.com
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